As I sit her and type I realize that I’ve lost myself throughout all of this.  I’m not sure why I am coming to this conclusion at this very moment.  It might be because I haven’t taken my pills since last Wednesday.  Meaning no prenatal, no fish oil, no vitamins, nothing that my body needs.  Even with my lists, my alarms, my idea of when I do something to remember to also take my pills.  Nothing is allowing me to focus on myself.

I’m really tired guys.  I am pushing myself because there is so much to get done before Baby #2 arrives.  Inside and outside we have a huge list.  My husband does the majority of it, but that leaves me feeling unhappy that I can’t keep up.  Which then leaves me becoming a stage 5 clinger and not wanting him to do any of it.  I want us to lie on the couch and watch TV all day, obviously that would be unproductive.

Reflecting back from before I was pregnant, I know I didn’t keep up then either.  Dave was always outside doing yard work with no help from me because Lucy is unable to watch Walter.  Then he would come in and shower and do things around the house that I feel like I should have been able to do while Walter was awake.  I was so nervous with Walter, I couldn’t do the dishes or vacuum because I felt like I had to be with him 100 percent of the time.  Now I’m finding that I wish the days were easier and I could bend over to do the laundry.  But then a famous Jim Rohn quote comes to mind: “Do not wish it was easier, wish you were better”.

That’s it!

I might need to seclude myself more to refocus on things I used to do while I was working.  A lot of that is reading (or audiobooks).  That helped me through a lot of things.  My mindset is so negative right now and that is what is pulling me down.  On top of the obvious, Coronavirus.

Have you ever woke up late, only to stub your toe, then either spill coffee on yourself or the line at Dunkin is so long that you clearly won’t be getting any today?  Then you get stuck in traffic, forget about a meeting, realize about half way through the day you haven’t taken anything out for dinner.  So annoying to go down that rabbit hole – I think it happens more often than not.

How to fix it

The way to fix that is to take 10-30 minutes and reorganize yourself and your thoughts.  Write things down that need to get done, check your upcoming week for appointments and meetings.  Be sure you know what kind of pizza everyone wants tonight, or what you are picking up on the way home.  Taking the time out of your day to do those simple things will really help.  I remember it being the best thing for me when I fell into days like this.

Now, being at home and being a full time wife and mom, I am finding it harder to adjust.  Though I love it and would drop everything in a heartbeat if I didn’t have to worry about bills and feeding my family.  I love being here, I just need to make a better routine for all of us.  That part will probably help more than anything else.  Knowing what we need to do and having the time carved out to do it.  Flying by the seat of our pants with a general idea of what to do that day/week works some times, but not all of the time.

Currently, I go to bed way too late  

When I was working I was in bed around 9p the latest, that has changed to around 10:30p.  You’re probably thinking, but you don’t have to get up so early, so 10:30p shouldn’t be a problem.  And you are right in a way.  The issue I am seeing now is that I am getting up with Walter.  Which leaves me zero time to myself or the house chores in the morning.

If I was able to do things in the morning before he got up it would make life easier.  Even if I only had 30 minutes to organize our day so I know that the laundry is getting done and that we will have dinner on the table tonight.  Which reminds me that we just finished the Chicken and Sweet Potatoes leftovers and that I need to take something out tonight, or maybe burgers because it’s supposed to be nice out.

Either way, going to bed at a regular time allows me the sleep I need to bring on a full day.  If I got up at a normal time, organized our day, started some chore, and was prepared for dinner, then our lives would be that much simpler.  Scrambling has been difficult and has just made me tired.

Side note: We have been a bit productive

The last couple of weeks, if you’ve been following along, I haven’t been posting quite as frequently.  Dave was working full time from home, and then would go out and dig up our yard.  The front of our house has a steep hill and the grass doesn’t grow well, well enough to mow at an uncomfortable angle, but not well enough to be actual grass and pretty.  So he dug it up: 2 sections of 36’x8′.  Then we bought 10 yards of mulch and filled it in.  Plus, we did around 3 huge trees, our side yard section that is always mulched and up our stairs.  We are waiting for a landscaper to come in and cut back some bushes and pull a couple of others out, then we will need to get about 20 more bags of mulch to fill in the rest of the areas.

You can read about that in the My Oasis section once everything is completed.  If you don’t want to keep checking back, be sure to subscribe so that you get the update when it comes in.

We also got new furniture for our cabana and pool area, outdoor toys for Walter, and moved so much stuff around.  Starting to feel like our house is more organized and more complete since moving here 3 years ago.  It’s a wonder what can get done when both of us are home and when there is no commute time.

What’s up for this week

Entering the third trimester and knowing this is one of the harder ones, I am mentally preparing for it.  I am also preparing things that need to get completed before the baby comes:

  • Finishing up the registry. I know, I know it’s baby #2.  Believe me my mind is taken over by baby brain and I can’t remember anything. So it’s helpful for us.  Plus, I can add stuff on it for Walter.  It will work for us because we get a discount at the store too.  Added bonus, if anyone asks what we need we can send them the link.
  • Moving Walter into his big boy room. This one is hard for me.  I told Dave the other day that I want both babies to be in our room forever.  As a mom that is 100% true, as a wife that is 100% false. Walter moving down the other end of the hallway seems so far away.  He’s growing up and soon he will be moving out (cue the tears).
  • We need to bring all the baby stuff upstairs.  As Walter grew out of things, we moved stuff to the basement and now we will have to go through it again and see what we need. If we are having a girl I want to have all the boy stuff together so we can give it away because I HATE clutter.
  • I have to go for my Glucose Test.  Essentially I have to get blood work done to make sure I don’t have gestational diabetes, let’s keep our fingers crossed.

What are your tips for baby #2?  How did you handle the stress of moving Baby #1 to a different room?  What about gestational diabetes: did you have it?  If so, what should I expect?