Week 23 of pregnancy has me in a different state of mind. Anxiety has been rough for me, so this week I saw a counselor.
Talking about problems with friends is extremely helpful. It’s useful when you are going through the same things. The first time around my best friend was due a few months before me, this time around I have a few friends that have just had a baby or will be in the next month or two. But none of them are in the same anxiety filled ship as I am, or at least they aren’t as open about it.
To be in a boat alone with a hole is a bit difficult to navigate. You can’t plug the hole and navigate at the same time. Seeing a counselor was the best thing I could do for myself. I’ve used her multiple times before and when the other doctors suggested it, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it myself. I’m usually 100% on target with what is needed in my life, but I was mentally paralyzed.
I’m more than happy I saw her. I’ve started feeling better since I did, but still have a lot of work to do. I remember being more stressed out about being a good mother, and making sure I was mentally stable, the first time around. My thoughts always get in my way. But I was super focused on making sure that it happened.
This time is different because now I don’t have the same amount of time to focus on me.
Understanding that being a mom you are left to the wayside because everyone else comes first, but if my cup is full, I can not serve others. Of course I remember some stuff that I learned – but pregnancy brain turned mommy brain is a real thing. Obviously chasing Walter around and trying to plan for Baby #2 at the same time is hard. Though I know that a lot of you mothers reading this have been through this already, and always say “I am here if you need to talk”. But honestly, where are you? What do we talk about? How do I even start the conversation?
I opened up once to who I thought was a good friend about how I was feeling. Struggling, at the time, with talking about it at all let alone opening up completely about it. I was hoping it would help me clear my mind and she would give me sound advice on what to do, and how to handle it appropriately. She had in the past, so I figured she could help me with the TOUGHEST thing I had been going through to date. Instead, within a few days, everything was aired out by her to other mutual friends. If I didn’t have trust issues before, I do now.
Thankfully, my counselor was there for me during all of this
Whether or not she tells her friends everything is beyond me, but we don’t have mutual friends (that I know of) so I’m a little less disturbed by it. Plus she actually gave me advice vs. just staring at me and then blabbing her mouth later.
My counselor helped me with learning how to cope through these difficult times before so I knew the doctors were right on point when they told me to seek her out again. The tools that she gave me are extremely important for all of us given the current circumstances we are in. A lot of our lives are affected by COVID-19, and some have done a 360. Either way, we can all learn from this time.
As I work through each week and each item she has taught, I hope it will help you guys too. I don’t want to write a doctorate sized paper on each in this post, so I will be setting up a weekly email to go over each of them. Even though I will be emailing these out, if you feel like you want to work on them 1-on-1 I would be more than happy to assist. Below is the beginning of Week 1: Structure. But I will dive into the topic more in the actual post.
There is a lot of information for each topic, if you are interested in signing up for the weekly emails or working 1-on-1, let me know and I can add you to the group. My email address is: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Anxiety Coping Skills by Week
3: Work / Life Balance
4: Appreciation of Others
7: Stop. Keep. Change.
8: Moving Forward
Let’s jump in!
Remember when you were in Elementary School, if you were in a school that required uniforms, even better. There was a very specific schedule to follow each day. Not only did it give teachers a break for you to go to art, but you knew exactly when that would be. You had to bring a change of clothes and shoes if you had gym, etc. It was mundane, sure, but also very easy to follow when you know what is coming.
A friend of mine recently mentioned that it would be so much easier if he knew on Mondays he would be having meatloaf, Tuesday tacos…Friday pizza, etc. Instead, every night him and his wife are trying to figure out what to eat. Which is the better way, the easier way, the more efficient way? Maybe it is a mix of the two. Maybe you have a list of 30 items to choose from and you pick and choose at the end of each week what you will have next week. Make it a family affair if you have kids, everyone gets to pick one or two for the week. You can technically do this for each meal (including desserts, my favorite).
We will get into meal prep in a future post, that is for sure, but for now just think of the rest of this week and what you are having. Make sure you have all the ingredients and to add things to the grocery list if not.
Mark Zuckerberg (creator of Facebook) and Steve Jobs (creator of Apple) had something else in common besides being billionaires. They both wore the same outfits everyday. Why you ask? It’s one less thing they have to concentrate on. Something they already know, like how to make your coffee. It is the same thing every day. Boring for fashionistas, but for people that need to concentrate on other things, this is a great idea.
When we are all stuck inside our homes, it’s easy to have feelings of depression creep up. Make sure to set up a schedule and stick to it as much as possible, it will ease your mind of the small every day stuff.
Which week are you on? Do you need help understanding any of them more? Believe me I have first hand knowledge of each section. Seriously, if you ever want to talk about any of them, or dive deeper in, let me know. I’d be happy to assist. Until then, focus on week 1.
How the Universe is Making Us Slow Down
I was in the doctor’s office the other day and I saw this little number. I’m not sure who wrote it but I thought I would end this week by sharing it with you.
What if the universe is trying to get us to slow down? To stop producing. To stay home and let the earth breathe a little without all the extra pollution we case daily. To take a step back and realize how we really impact earth and one another. That we aren’t as significant or in control as we think we are. A virus can come through and wipe us all out but earth will still be here. We are all connected. Just like we can spread a disease, we can also spread love, kindness and positivity. Use the time for reflection of our contribution and the life you’ve living. Slow down and finally hear yourself again. The universe is always speaking to us if we are willing to listen.