As I end Week 22 of pregnancy I can’t help feeling overwhelmed with questions from people who are thinking out loud.
After you’ve been dating someone for a year or so, and you’re over 22, people like to ask, “When is he going to propose”?
Once you’re engaged – SUPER exciting time – people will ask, “When is the wedding”?
This continues on to:
“When are you having kids”?
“When is the next one”?
“Are you done after this”?
“Oh my goodness, you’re pregnant again”?
For the ones being asked these questions, know you’re not doing anything wrong. Whether it takes you 6 months or 6 years, do it on your own time. Do what’s best for the two of you. No one else is involved in your relationship. No one else understands your trials and tribulations.
For the ones thinking out loud: Mind 👏 Your 👏Damn 👏 Business 👏
What in the world does this have to do with being quarantined & pregnant?
I’ll tell you. I’m being asked WAY too many questions during this time. It’s making me uncomfortable, more anxious, and very annoyed. Usually, I’m the type of person to not really care, to dust my shoulders off when I leave the conversation, and not to be affected by it. I’ve learned what I need as a person and have tried hard over the years to make sure my anxiety levels are at bay and that I don’t let others get to me.
Unfortunately, people are getting to me. It’s bringing me back to the other happy times that people ruin – if you let them.
With the amount of anxiety that I’m continuously under these days believe me when I tell you that I DO NOT want to hear these questions/statements or any paraphrasing:
- You have to start thinking of the baby.
- Are you okay with everything going on?
- Are you nervous about the virus and being pregnant?
- I’m so scared, you must be terrified.
- Why are you still working?
- You shouldn’t go to the store.
Inner voice is saying: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Vocalizing it with a smile and sweet response.
This is obviously a concerning time for all of us.
Of course I’m scared. Yes, I’m nervous. And for the love of God: YES, I’m taking care of myself and understand all of the terrible things that can happen to me if I catch this thing. Including mortality. Which, by the way, if you really know me, you would know this is actually my number one fear of being pregnant – even prior to the Coronavirus. Dying. Dying in labor specifically. It still happens. But this disease makes me think: hey, it can happen sooner 😳🙈!
I’m not a hypochondriac but work takes a toll on people. Some careers give you benefits like discounts on clothes or food, while others give you the benefit of concerns – like you can die at the drop of a hat. My job is the latter.
Let’s circle back around.
People that are asking these (original) questions are on the outside looking in. They usually feel excluded from the process or the opportunity. Maybe they haven’t gone through it. Maybe it’s been a while since they have gone through it. Either way they are most likely feeling upset underneath everything.
Similar to us being quarantined, we are all feeling some type of way. I’m guessing most of us have been upset because we are missing out on so many things – #YOLO, right?
We are all scrolling through social media and seeing what others are up to; because what else are we supposed to do, build puzzles? Shout out to those that are, I do not have the patience for this type of event.
When we scroll through we see what everyone else is up to and guess what? We start feeling excluded from missing out on the opportunity. By the way, it’s not even provided to us, because we’re grounded. We’re on the outside looking in.
If you’re following along my journey…
Remember last week when I explained some cravings I had. One in particular, possibly the oddest one, is watching Boy Meets World. One of the episodes pulled on my heart strings. Okay, a few of them have so far.
In particular for this post: Cory and Shawn are looking forward to receiving invitations to their first high school party, put on by one of the popular girls. If you’ve ever seen the show you know Shawn is the more popular of the two and he has a troubled home life. While Cory is extremely average. Come to find out; Shawn doesn’t get invited yet Cory does.
Shawn tells him to go to the party and Cory obliges. When Cory gets there, it’s more of a nerd party and the popular girl throwing it leaves. She heads to where all the popular kids are. Cory realizes he isn’t actually as cool as he thought.
What got to me is that I’ve been on both sides. But not being included in certain opportunities that we see on social media is the worst. This is something I still struggle with, and that’s not Covid-19 related.
I’m sure you all know that people usually post the better parts of their lives vs. the shitty ones. Have you ever seen people post pictures with the caption “reality vs. IG” and then it’s two images. One of the pictures is usually a beautiful, possibly filtered, image and the other is CRAZY and hilarious. Kensington Palace just posted something recently, check it out here.
I love being home.
Personally, I get through it by remembering how much I actually love being home. How much I enjoy my little family. And how the photos I’m seeing are people expressing for seconds how much fun they’re having. Fun fact: I actually DO want to be home. Even now, during quarantine, I’m so excited to be home, when I can be.
Of course I miss everything about being able to go out, like most people. I absolutely hate having to wear a mask, and not being able to sit at our favorite cozy little restaurant. I can’t stand not being able to see family and friends. But I’m enjoying the time I’m home with Dave, Walter, and Lucy.
How can I love it so much? Because through distancing I have built a closer connection with those I love the most. Dave and I have built a great communication foundation and continuously work on it as needed, just like every relationship. Communicating works to our benefit: it helps us both to get work done, take breaks from chasing Walter around, and be on the same page with things.
Pull things together, especially yourself.
This is so difficult for me right now, not normally, but currently. I am trying to accept my feelings as being normal. These feelings are normal for being quarantined and normal for being pregnant. It has also helped me to write my feelings out and NOT scroll through social media so often. I’m also not hard on myself when I am taking the day to just lounge around the house and not do some sort of cleaning. Why? Because the other day I was on my hands and knees cleaning the molding in our bathroom. I know they are both getting the proper amount of attention.
Make sure you are taking time out for yourself: meditate, eat healthy (there is plenty of time to be sure this is happening more often), exercise – just getting out of the house is helpful. Just take the time to listen to your mind and body. Figure out what you need, if it’s chocolate chip cookies try my new recipe. Make the change. Do it before you get sucked into the couch for the remainder of the day.
Are you guys on a schedule for cleaning, cooking, house related stuff? Have you meal prepped for the week? Even planning a menu can help with both groceries, and making decisions. How are you guys doing during this trying time?